hm.....I like this one..but i'm not sure why.....it kind of scares me...

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Loving someone that doesn't love you is like reaching for a star - You know you'll never reach it but you just got to keep trying

It is well composed and written. The imagery is sharp, but too jumbly. As if these were the nightmares of an anti-Christian, shizophrenic werewolf. They just don't make sense; but maybe they aren't supposed to. I'm not sure what else to say on this.

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There is no Emotion, There is Peace
There is no Ignorance, There is Knowledge
There is no Passion, There is Serenity
There is no Chaos, there is Harmony
There is no Death, there is the Force.

Well the idea is that nightmares never makes sense, you know what I mean? Dreams are always all over the place and jumbled.

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If all is fair in love and war does that mean it's legal to shoot my partner????

Thanks!

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If all is fair in love and war does that mean it's legal to shoot my partner????

No way, my dreams are lucid as hell. They make more sense. Like last night, a group of pagans and magical creatures during Midsummer set fire to a castle where church heretics are attempting to burn alive some captured warrior girls. And then I ate peanuts that were tied up in a chain. See? They make more sense than your fuckin schizo dreams! My dreams have an insane anti-logic to them, but in the dreams, I'm logically following the course of the anti-logic. Get it? I just didn't say how much sense they made in the first place.

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There is no Emotion, There is Peace
There is no Ignorance, There is Knowledge
There is no Passion, There is Serenity
There is no Chaos, there is Harmony
There is no Death, there is the Force.

awesome

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I love Patrick Hall more than we will ever know...
True love starts with a kiss.
DAMN IT!!!!! I lost a penny

Thanks!!

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If all is fair in love and war does that mean it's legal to shoot my partner????

I really do like it! That poem shows that love is not all happy-ever after's, that there's still obstacles to overcome, only to make it better! I wish u luck w/ ur future poems! <3 & PEace/
paige

It definitely sounds like a werewolf or something. Very stark language and imagery. It works fine like this, but it might add more depth if you add detail or more metaphor. This just recommended because if you use a very fluid language for something this edgy, it will add an eerie quality. Nevertheless, !

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"Reach she said for no one else but you
'Cause you won't turn away
When someone else is gone." - "Long Day"

"I am in earnest--I will not equivocate--I will not excuse--I will not retreat a single inch and I will be heard." -- William L. Garrison